


you've got a nine to five so i'll take the night shift (and i'll never see you again)

by 3ves



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Bitter, Canon Compliant, M/M, Minor Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam, Pining, The Homestuck Epilogues, The Homestuck Epilogues: Candy, Unhappy Ending, Yearning, want to emphasize that this is not a cheating fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:54:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22470610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3ves/pseuds/3ves
Summary: Karkat’s with Meenah, and Dave’s with Jade, and the whole world’s gone fucking batshit.--Dave and Karkat see each other for the first time after Dave's wedding. They aren't exes or lovers. They aren't anything. For a moment though, they let themselves forget to pretend otherwise.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 22
Kudos: 61





	you've got a nine to five so i'll take the night shift (and i'll never see you again)

**Author's Note:**

> Recently, I desperately wished to read some good, painful, bitter interactions between Candy!Karkat and Candy!Dave. I couldn't find any fic on that since ppl (rightfully) like to pretend the epilogues don't exist, so I wrote the damn fic myself.  
> Title is from the song "Night Shift" by Lucy Dacus.

They’re crammed into a cubbyhole of a hideout dug out beneath the floorboards of a creaking house. Dust motes fall like snowflakes, glittering gold in the afternoon light seeping in from above. A few high ranking trolls that Dave doesn’t recognize line the coffee table they’ve gathered around. Diagonal to Dave and Jade, Kanaya and Rose murmur quietly about the influx of ghost trolls, about war tactics, about what they should have for dinner. In the midst of a war, they’ve mastered the art of carving domestic peace out of the smallest of quiet moments. Although they aren’t touching, the way their heads tilt towards each other as if they were painted to be together by the universe makes Dave look away. He reaches for Jade’s hand. He’s no master, but he’s tried his best to memorize what moments need to be performed and what words need to be said. Silently, he squeezes her hand, and she squeezes his hand back. Dave loves Jade. This fact is indisputable. The weight of the new ring on his finger does not weigh him down in the slightest.

Footsteps shake the boards above their heads, sending dirt scattering down onto them. Kanaya looks up with the slightest of smiles towards the shadow flitting across the boards while Rose reaches up to brush the specks of dirt that have fallen down off of Kanaya’s shoulders. Internally, Dave curses for not thinking to do that first and reaches over to Jade just as she plops her head on his shoulder. The movement has both of them fumbling for a moment as Dave’s fingers are awkwardly twisted into Jade’s cheek. 

DAVE: uh  


Jade beams up at him as Dave pulls back his hand. She fiddles with her ring and sighs contentedly before properly resting her head on his shoulder.

A lifetime ago, Dave would have recognized the tread above their heads immediately. Instead, it is Kanaya who tips him off to the identity of the person above them when she shoots a meaningful glance up and then returns her attention to Rose.

KANAYA: He Is Here Sooner Than Expected.  


Dave doesn’t know what to do with this knowledge. He revises his image of Karkat as he’s had to do many times over the last few months. In one, painful moment, Dave finds himself forced to erase his understanding of Karkat as someone who makes himself known with feet heavy and stomps earth shattering. The new Karkat is not the one who disappeared. His tread is lighter, and his steps are more measured. The new Karkat continuously surprises Dave over and over. It leaves a bitter taste in Dave’s mouth.

No amount of bracing can prepare for the moment Karkat descends into the cellar. They haven’t seen each other since before the wedding when Dave and Jade had extended an invitation. The conversation had been awkward and stilted. After a lot of Jade cajoling and reassuring that it wouldn’t be weird, they were very good friends, after all, Karkat had conceded to being written down as a maybe. He didn’t show up though, not by himself or with Meenah, and Dave doesn’t know which option he had hoped for more. Certainly not an absence.

Now, Karkat sweeps into the room, and the atmosphere changes. There is that same familiar frown faintly pulling the corners of his lips down. There is that same familiar piercing gaze, looking over every person in the room, looking for exits and safe places and weaknesses. Dave wants Karkat to look at him. Dave wants Karkat to never see him. Jade’s head is on Dave’s shoulder. Jade’s hand is twined with his. Karkat’s eye finally looks towards Dave. Even after losing an entire fucking eye because, holy shit, Karkat is kind of badass now, his attention still feels fully focused on whatever he’s looking at. He quickly looks down, notes the band on Dave’s left ring finger, and then his attention is gone, moving on to the next person. This is the first time Dave is seeing Karkat as a married man, and Karkat doesn’t even spare him more than a glance. It makes something in Dave itch, but he resolutely ignores it.

Karkat is better than him at this. Karkat is better at a lot of things, Dave thinks, as Meenah appears behind Karkat and Karkat smiles at her before she quickly presses a kiss to his lips.

He’s with Meenah, and Dave’s with Jade, and the whole world’s gone fucking batshit.

KARKAT: ALRIGHT, ASSWIPES. I UNDERSTAND YOU’RE ALL IN A TIZZY BECAUSE OF THE STRICTER CURFEWS AND REGULATIONS OH-SO-FUCKING-OBVIOUSLY TARGETING TROLL DISTRICTS IN AN EFFORT TO HAMPER OUR MOVEMENTS, BUT WE STILL HAVE THE UPPERHAND HERE.  
KARKAT: JANE CAN’T TAKE EXPLICITLY AGGRESSIVE ACTION WITHOUT APPEARING LIKE THE CONTROLLING RACIST THAT SHE IS AND ALIENATING A PORTION OF HER SUPPORT BASE. HER ENTIRE STANCE IS THAT EVERYTHING SHE HAS DONE HAS BEEN PURELY REACTIONARY TO A MADE UP TERRORIST GROUP OF TROLLS: US.  
KARKAT: THE HUMANS ARE TOO SCARED TO DO SHIT WITHOUT A STRONG RALLYING POINT, AND THE TROLLS TORN BETWEEN JOINING US AND KEEPING THEIR HEADS DOWN ARE BECOMING MORE INCLINED BY THE MINUTE TO JUMP SHIP BECAUSE THEY’RE SURE AS FUCK NOT ROOTING FOR JANE AND GAMZEE’S DISGUSTING AND VERY PUBLIC INTERPRETATION OF XENOPHILIA.  
KARKAT: WE JUST NEED TO LAY LOW AND GATHER OUR STRENGTH. WE’RE AN UNKNOWN VARIABLE RIGHT NOW. JANE DOESN’T KNOW HOW MANY OF US THERE ARE, WHICH IS WAY FUCKING MORE THAN SHE THINKS. THAT SAID, WE DO NEED TO FIGURE OUT MORE ROUTES THROUGH THE CITY TO JANE’S STRONGHOLDS IN PREPARATION FOR OUR SIEGE AND WE NEED TO BE UNDETECTED WHILE WE DO THIS. THAT’S WHAT THIS MEETING IS FOR.  


He drops into his seat at the head of the coffee table heavily. Because they’re in a hideyhole buried beneath a house, the seats are all mismatched and Karkat has been left with a stool, legs slightly uneven and forcing Karkat to perch on the stool carefully. Somehow, he makes himself seem taller. Somehow, Dave doesn’t think he would make fun of this Karkat like he would have made fun of a younger Karkat. Meenah sends Karkat a sharp smile, and the corner of his mouth quirks up momentarily in acknowledgement of her support.

Around Dave, everyone has begun pitching ideas, determining the number of people they’d be transporting, what sites to focus on dismantling, and the people best fit for finding these routes without being caught or tracked. Dave distantly hears Rose point out that, ideally, an unknown human ally could walk the streets without being automatically suspected, but a troll with huge horns that curve backwards like crescent moons counters that it’s possible that a troll with psychic abilities might be a better fit for these sorts of tasks. Jade lifts her head to join the conversation, but none of it reaches Dave.

Dave blatantly stares at Karkat as Karkat listens to what everyone has to say without participating in the conversation. It’s unlike him. It’s just like him. Dave is safe behind his sunglasses, but Karkat looks towards him anyways. His gaze cuts through Dave and leaves him feeling vulnerable and seen in a way nobody else ever does. And then he looks away to listen to some quip Jade is making, and Dave is left completely untethered from the conversation. It’s not as though he has much to contribute. Dave’s main purpose in this war is to divide human allegiances. Even in that, Jade has been much more successful. If he’s honest with himself, Dave’s main reason for being here, at this important meeting, is just to witness Karkat.

The meeting ends. Dave remembers the most sparse of details.

As they leave the building in pairs at different intervals and from different locations, Dave feels an itch spread out from where his hand is connected to Jade’s. He wants to fly somewhere high and breathe in unrecognizable air. He wants to disappear from this place and bury himself in soft blankets. It’s too bright and too colorful here. Where the cellar was cramped and dusty, it was still familiar in some senses. The trees here twist green branches around each other, and something about them leaves Dave feeling uneasy. He lets go of Jade’s hand and stops.

DAVE: fuck  
DAVE: i think i forgot my phone  


He’s good at lying.

JADE: dave!! this is why i insist that we each carry at least three devices on us at all times!  
DAVE: ok but consider  
DAVE: the security risks  
JADE: the security risks!?!  
DAVE: yeah like if we lost any one of those devices and there was big important news buried in the depths of our machines and they fell into the nefarious hands of our foes  
DAVE: like fucking uh  
DAVE: the clown heretic or something  
DAVE: wed be fucked  
DAVE: karkat would kill us for releasing vital information  
DAVE: and like youre good at keeping track of your megafuckton of computer devices scattered on your being but im just one dude and if i cant even handle keeping track of one phone what makes you think i could handle keeping track of several  
DAVE: id just be dropping phones left and right  
DAVE: there goes my apple glasses  
DAVE: theres my phone down the sewers  
DAVE: janes just got a security team following me full time picking up electronic devices like a teacher snapping phones off desks during a test  
JADE: ok!!!! i get it!!! go get your phone you big goof!  


Dave turns to leave, relieved that running his mouth off didn’t entrap him in his own lie, but is stopped when Jade twists a hand in the collar of his shirt.

JADE: hold up a minute  


The warning note in Jade’s voice makes Dave’s heart rocket to the back of his throat. For a moment, he considers the possibility that he left his phone visible within his back pocket. Or perhaps his resting face isn’t as straightforward as it used to be and he can’t just rely on his sunglasses to keep him in the clear. Instead of calling him out or scolding him, Jade twists Dave around and grins.

JADE: you forgot something else too silly!  
DAVE: wait what  


Without any hesitation, Jade presses a kiss to Dave’s cheek. Dave’s breath stutters out of him.

DAVE: oh right  
JADE: see you soon!  
DAVE: maybe go on without me i dont know where i actually left my phone  


Jade rolls her eyes dramatically.

JADE: then im going to need a better kiss to last until the next time we see each other!  


This part, Dave has gotten better at. He’s not a master, but he knows what tune to sing and what things to do. It doesn’t leave him anxious anymore. Years of being with Jade makes it almost natural to lean forward and kiss her the same way he’s kissed her for years. Dave loves Jade, he does. The ring on his finger is evidence enough of how well they’ve been together for years. It took practice at first, but Dave knows what he’s doing now. He’s older and better at this dating thing. This being married thing isn’t much different.

With that last kiss, Dave returns to the building, making a show of descending the hidden steps in case Jade can see his shape through the curtains in the windows. The Sun has begun to set since the beginning of their meeting, bathing the insides of the house in a golden light. When Dave reaches the bottom step of the stairs, he stops.

Karkat looks up from where he’s slouched over and looking down at papers laid out on the old coffee table. He’s moved from his original position near the door, choosing to occupy the more stable dining table chair opposite Dave. His eye widens for a fraction of an instant, but maybe Dave imagined it.

DAVE: hey i um  


His phone is heavy in his pocket.

DAVE: forgot my phone  
KARKAT: WITH HOW LIKELY YOU ARE TO LOSE ANYTHING I TRUST YOU WITH, I DON’T KNOW IF I SHOULD COUNT YOU AS A LIABILITY OR AN ASSET.  


His tone is rough. Although the joking words suggest familiarity, Dave feels their distance like a jab by a spear. While Dave drops to his knees and pretends to search for his phone, Karkat returns to studying the papers laid out in front of him. Once, the silence might have been comfortable, broken by the change of a TV channel and jibes that were more than insults. Now, it is brittle. It stretches between them, an invisible force with reaching hands that grasp Dave’s vocal cords and strangle them.

He gets to his feet, dusts himself off, and coughs awkwardly into one hand. Karkat looks up from his papers, up towards Dave who stands so near and so far in the same breath. It is a good distance. Safe.

KARKAT: WHAT.  
DAVE: im married now  
DAVE: in case you didnt know  


Never one to back down from a fight, especially now that Karkat knows what it means to be in a fight one cannot back down from, Karkat doesn’t look away. Instead, his expression sours slightly. Dave wants to read into it and then remembers himself and tries his best to remember that they aren’t exes or lovers. He doesn’t know what they are.

KARKAT: I KNOW I’VE ONLY GOT ONE GANDERBULB LEFT, BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN I’M FUCKING BLIND AND DEAF NOW.   


Dave winces at the cutting reply.

KARKAT: I WAS, IN FACT, THERE WHEN YOU AND JADE EXTENDED THE INVITATION.  
DAVE: yeah man sorry i guess  
DAVE: actually nevermind  
KARKAT: WHAT. SPIT IT OUT, ASSHOLE. WE’RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A WAR, THERE ISN’T TIME FOR YOU TO BE AWFUL AT SHUTTING YOUR FEELINGS AWAY BEHIND PAPER DOORS.  
DAVE: i-  


They both fall silent. All of the confrontational energy that had built up in Karkat’s shoulder dissipate. Quietly, they shuffle in the awkward silence. The golden rays seeping between the floorboards above have begun to sink into silver and the dust motes falling fade into darkness.

Sometimes, when two people have known each other too well for too long, they become accustomed to a language of weighted silences. The shift of a hand, the difference between a millimeter closer and a millimeter further, the smallest of smiles poorly hidden in the morning, all of it becomes recognizable to both parties and, in the process, a little bit of the language of words is forgotten. Dave feels this loss acutely now, as he turns his head just slightly enough for Karkat to recognize that Dave is refusing to look towards him. For two people who’ve spoken nearly every combination of words under the Sun, neither can remember how to speak to the other.

DAVE: so thats it?  
KARKAT: WHAT’S "IT"?  
DAVE: im married now  
KARKAT: YEAH, I GOT THE MEMO. I KNOW HUMAN MARRIAGE IS GENERALLY THE END GOAL OF AN ENGAGEMENT WHICH FOLLOWS A LONG ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP. THE SIMPLICITY OF HUMAN COURTSHIP IS NOT LOST ON ME.   


Dave snorts now. Nothing has ever been simple about his human courtship with Jade. Karkat, of all people, should know, having been caught in its web during its conception. 

DAVE: are you… ok with that?  


Karkat gives Dave a weird look, indiscernible for many reasons not limited to the fact that part of his face is covered by an eyepatch. Dave coughs, once, into his sleeve. In bringing his hand up, the ring on his finger glints.

KARKAT: ARE YOU?  


And, suddenly, the ring sits heavy and cold. Dave feels it bearing down on his bones, feels it pulling at him as, a world away, Jade opens the door to their home, sings while she makes dinner, and ever so meticulously combs through her plants for weeds and pests before going up to her study. As if aware of Dave’s thoughts, Karkat reaches out and circles Dave’s wrist with his fingers.

They both stare down at the point of contact, equally surprised by Karkat’s instinctive grab for Dave’s wrist. He lets go abruptly as though he has belatedly realized that he’d unwittingly plunged his hand into a boiling cauldron of water and drags his attention back to the papers laid out in front of him even though none of the information is penetrating his thick skull. His face burns red, but Dave doesn’t notice because he is too busy looking away.

Dave’s wrist burns. He wants to reach out too. He wants to break the silence and stop turning his mind away from the feeling welling up between the cracks in his ribs. Karkat, the better of them, the more courageous of the two of them, speaks first.

KARKAT: JADE AND YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY.  


Neither of them are unaware of the emphasis placed on Jade’s name.

DAVE: were friends still  
DAVE: right?  


Karkat lets his attention slide away from the arguably most important matters at hand. He can’t read them anyways while Dave is looming over him. Dave’s ring shines in the light of the nearly gone Sun. Light is quickly fading from the room. Karkat reaches across the table and turns on the lamp. Its halo is surrounded by darkness it can barely combat. The shadows converging on them aren’t scary though. In the dim light of the lamp, Karkat feels more at home. A lifetime ago, Karkat’s home was lit just like this. On a rock hurtling through an empty void, he was smaller and less important. He was comfortable and he only needed to toss a can in any direction and it would hit Dave in the back of his head.

Dave isn’t an ex or a lover. Karkat knows exactly what Dave is. He sighs, shuffles papers around that don’t need to be shuffled, and then leans back in his chair without looking up at Dave.

KARKAT: YEAH. WE ARE.  


Dave steps closer and pulls back the wooden chair beside Karkat. It is rickety on its unbalanced legs so Dave leans back and lets his long legs stretch out in front of him to balance himself. His knee bumps Karkat’s, but only for a moment before both of them are rearranging their positions.

KARKAT: DON’T YOU HAVE SOMEPLACE TO BE, ASSHOLE?  
DAVE: its fine  
DAVE: ill keep you company until youre done  


Karkat’s with Meenah, and Dave’s with Jade, and the whole world’s gone fucking batshit. Above them, outside, the Sun drops away. Inside, Dave’s ring does not glow, untouched by the halo of the lamplight. It is not heavy or cold or warm. It is not anything but there.

Later, Dave will return home. He will walk the whole way back with the moon at his back and nothing on his mind. He will pull Jade into a well practiced hug, and he will promise to make breakfast in the morning. Before that, he will open his eyes to see Karkat muttering to himself as he flips through the pages of the many reports scattered in front of him. He will open his eyes to see Karkat, and a dull, familiar aching will fill his chest, but he will practice swallowing it down. He will practice pretending it doesn’t exist, pretending this isn’t fucked, pretending he knows that he and Karkat are only friends and have never been anything else. He will never master these skills.

For now though, Dave’s eyes fall shut beneath the shield of his sunglasses and he allows himself a moment of peace in this room in the middle of a war with Karkat only millimeters away. Karkat, for all his war weariness and wisdom, will not deny Dave this. Cannot deny Dave anything even now that years have passed and they are no longer who they once were. He knows himself for what he is: selfish and scared and lonely. And he, too, will try to master the art of pretending as much as Dave, but only after he has selfishly allowed himself just this moment, this one moment, with Dave’s comforting presence nearby.

They stay like that for a long time. Close, but not touching.

**Author's Note:**

> *remembers that I hate formatting pesterlogs*  
> Still working on This Darkness Waiting if anyone is worried about that not finishing lol


End file.
